sawdust and cigarettes, 2020

collage, oil, and ink on plywood (55”x30”)

forever dream, 2020
collage, oil, colored pencil, and ink on canvas (40”x 60”)

and two zig-zags, 2020
collage, oil, acrylic, and ink on canvas (30”x40”)

before the powder room, 2020
collage, oil, and pastel on drywall (25”x 30”)

    My paintings explore how my physical experiences affect the connection between my body, spirit, and environment. I understand the concept of "environment" as my own mental connection to the physical world. "Spirit" and "soul" are the opposite; My spirit is the inner core of who I am without any influence. My environment is shifting, but my soul is steady. The body is the connection between the soul and the environment. Understanding this relationship has helped me understand how my experiences have affected my connection to myself.

    As I have gone through my own troubling times, I have felt detachments between my environment and my body. A seemingly physical server occurs between body and mind after a traumatic experience that creates a negative space that I am interested in capturing in my work. Within this separation, the concept of peacemaking within oneself appears.

    There is a genuine unity needed between all aspects of a person so they can truly flourish. Total unity is a difficult concept for me to understand, but I believe looking deeply at these severs and negative spaces have helped me take steps toward mental utopia. The idea of pure unity within a person can never indeed be met, and the mental utopia is only a concept that can be strived for but never achieved.

    My work contains several images that have been created out of my journey to understand the connections and disconnections between environment, body, and spirit. Hazy and blocked out shots reveal memories that come out of these "empty" or disconnected times; some of these memories can hardly be seen while others seem as if they never happened. The layering of images allows me to work backward through my life and directly show the pieces of myself that I put on display versus the parts hidden from public view.

  Another trend in my work is dismembered or disconnected forms. While this blatantly shows the disconnect between mind and body, these servers also bring out sensitivity and vulnerability in the figures. Inside of the figure may seem stable, but the physical disconnects are telling this figure's story.