AMANDA  HUANG

When I was little, a fortune-teller told me that I was a fish in my last life. My mother painted my bedroom wall the color blue and continuously took me to the swimming pool, probably to awaken my past life gift. At first, I didn’t believe them. However, I started to be more open to this during my first diving experience, when a cluster of fish emerged from behind a coral reef and swam towards me, not afraid to swarm and touch me with their round bodies. After this, in the years since, fish have repeatedly appeared in my dreams. Unlike typical fish, however, they possess certain unique characteristics. They are enormous, vibrant, and always quietly staring at me directly with their chameleon-like eyes. For as unusual as they are, they have always brought me a marvelous, mysterious feeling. One which evokes a sense of security.

Growing up I was always influenced by cartoon culture. Cartoons give their characters an identity. That is why I decided to give my fish names and create self-portraits of them: so they have identities. I accomplish this in my piece “Marvin” by giving the subject a name. I explore the cartoon theme by intentionally composing him with flat, highly saturated colored sections. In the piece titled “To the moon”, I have represented myself as a fish swimming with four other fish towards the moon. I made the decision to portray myself as a fish not only to show that I belong but as an escape from my everyday life to the world of the dream – a sanctuary that allows some kind of freedom. My painting “Nightmare” serves as a mirror that reflects the negative emotions I feel in my dreams, such as fear. In this case, I dreamt about being attacked by a deer-like creature. So, I depicted myself with exaggerated facial expressions and terrified body language. I chose to play with a red, bloody background with the dark emerald body of the deer creature.